I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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