i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize