i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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