Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize