I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
