Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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