Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar

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(325): View more from Texas

wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

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(831): View more from California

It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.

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(716): View more from New York

I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.

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(770): View more from Georgia

You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I could tell my life story through kermit memes

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