yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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