just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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