Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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