what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
