I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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