so that wasnt chicken after all
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
