She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
