I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
