Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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