My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
im on a boat
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