her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
whose parrot is this?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
