didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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