Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
