My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
