Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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