lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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