they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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