Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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