three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
