Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
