What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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