He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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