Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
