i don't like sucking hair
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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