this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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