Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
