I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
