So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I feel like a drive thru vagina
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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