this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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