Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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