Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
