At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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