SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
