i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
