i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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