just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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