Kiss
Puke
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
