Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
