some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I pour the whiskey from now on
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
