I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
