Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
be right there i have to get my cape
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
