as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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