god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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