why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?