Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero

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  (970): The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero http://tfl.nu/ssyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5597) Bad night (733)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.

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  (860): he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit. http://tfl.nu/apjr
  Replies (37) Good night (1355) Bad night (6195)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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  (617): He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up. http://tfl.nu/h2lf
  Replies (23) Good night (8486) Bad night (5233)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.

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  (617): You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias. http://tfl.nu/4ikl
  Replies (8) Good night (6068) Bad night (1242)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......

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  (781): So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one....... http://tfl.nu/w37i
  Replies (67) Good night (2738) Bad night (9209)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one

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  (314): Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one http://tfl.nu/zke4
  Replies (3) Good night (1120) Bad night (3151)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.

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  (610): Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic. http://tfl.nu/dj8z
  Replies (27) Good night (1281) Bad night (3421)
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  (818): View more from California

  Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night

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  (818): Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night http://tfl.nu/1iuj
  Replies (6) Good night (1014) Bad night (1907)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania

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  (224): I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania http://tfl.nu/5wck
  Replies (14) Good night (2571) Bad night (783)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.

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  (623): How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you? (1-623): You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror. http://tfl.nu/pl6g
  Replies (10) Good night (1016) Bad night (1726)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You went to jail last night?!

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  Just a little bit.

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  (910): You went to jail last night?! (1-910): Just a little bit. http://tfl.nu/exzq
  Replies (24) Good night (4021) Bad night (1036)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick

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  (615): omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick http://tfl.nu/o4c5
  Replies (10) Good night (752) Bad night (642)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.

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  (810): in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure. http://tfl.nu/xpih
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (492)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking

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  (803): I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking http://tfl.nu/lfqo
  Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (422)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.

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  (615): I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking. http://tfl.nu/6e5l
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (232)

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