Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.

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  (619): We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling. http://tfl.nu/8xvz
  Replies (35) Good night (2124) Bad night (17908)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.

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  (513): Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside. http://tfl.nu/2kyw
  Replies (24) Good night (4952) Bad night (964)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.

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  (785): There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob. http://tfl.nu/pwq0
  Replies (26) Good night (4674) Bad night (2486)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?

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  (617): what date should I let him know how fucked up I am? http://tfl.nu/6aws
  Replies (17) Good night (1309) Bad night (4236)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."

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  (248): you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion." http://tfl.nu/tkud
  Replies (12) Good night (5609) Bad night (1279)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake

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  (514): Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake http://tfl.nu/tx6v
  Replies (10) Good night (2001) Bad night (1712)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.

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  (908): I think I actually have rug burn on my eye. http://tfl.nu/mvqe
  Replies (5) Good night (1007) Bad night (1808)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

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  (520): When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well. (1-520): Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand. http://tfl.nu/cdsz
  Replies (1) Good night (2077) Bad night (938)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP

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  (604): Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP http://tfl.nu/30gs
  Replies (6) Good night (3410) Bad night (894)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.

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  (678): I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real. http://tfl.nu/66oa
  Replies (7) Good night (1436) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Brilliant thought; pill pong.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  What could go wrong?

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  (651): Brilliant thought; pill pong. (651): What could go wrong? http://tfl.nu/lofi
  Replies (12) Good night (951) Bad night (1178)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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  (724): If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF! http://tfl.nu/xzr6
  Replies (14) Good night (1574) Bad night (876)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...

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  (231): Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans... http://tfl.nu/n7qg
  Replies (4) Good night (475) Bad night (1053)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?

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  (770): Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to? http://tfl.nu/60if
  Replies (6) Good night (1116) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"

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  (603): I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter" http://tfl.nu/wf41
  Replies (3) Good night (739) Bad night (231)

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