So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
