I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So how was he last night?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
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Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari