Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.

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(405): He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk. http://tfl.nu/iths

Replies (47) Good night (968) Bad night (3807)
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(253): View more from Washington

I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.

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(253): I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you. http://tfl.nu/clvu

Replies (17) Good night (2670) Bad night (711)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7

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(419): Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7 http://tfl.nu/z3hr

Replies (47) Good night (9843) Bad night (595)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.

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(480): Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas. http://tfl.nu/ugcx

Replies (9) Good night (3823) Bad night (935)
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(269): View more from Michigan

Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.

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(269): Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/awvb

Replies (8) Good night (2993) Bad night (850)
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(315): View more from New York

Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.

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(315): Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library. http://tfl.nu/bcrx

Replies (16) Good night (4441) Bad night (740)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"

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(505): These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?" http://tfl.nu/1vuh

Replies (8) Good night (1332) Bad night (3557)
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(903): View more from Texas

The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

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(903): The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while. http://tfl.nu/y23x

Replies (21) Good night (7386) Bad night (1760)
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(404): View more from Georgia

It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.

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(404): It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning. http://tfl.nu/70c1

Replies (14) Good night (5183) Bad night (1331)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.

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(403): I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants. http://tfl.nu/wgp8

Replies (17) Good night (1672) Bad night (3799)
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(510): View more from California

listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.

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(510): listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'. http://tfl.nu/236r

Replies (22) Good night (3480) Bad night (1042)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.

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(250): He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS. http://tfl.nu/xkr3

Replies (5) Good night (1012) Bad night (2530)
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(727): View more from Florida

You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.

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(727): You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her. http://tfl.nu/lj37

Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (2585)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.

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(218): My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery. http://tfl.nu/81gc

Replies (8) Good night (1203) Bad night (434)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat

(615): View more from Tennessee

And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing

(203): View more from Connecticut

Did you run away?

(615): View more from Tennessee

I DANCED AWAY.

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(615): I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat (615): And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing (203): Did you run away? (615): I DANCED AWAY. http://tfl.nu/ipjx

Replies (1) Good night (856) Bad night (370)

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