I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
