just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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