so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
