What did we do last night that was yellow?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
