never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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