When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
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We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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