I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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