and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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