its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
