There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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