Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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