summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
