so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize