I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
