She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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